Inaction, In Action

Creepy ex spouse? Check! Scads of neatly organized, legally obtained proof that aforementioned ex has outgrown their skeevy skivvies and is ready for a new monochrome orange wardrobe? Well let’s get a move on! You’ve got a lot of walls to beat your head against!

Two disclaimers: first, I live in Texas and while I’ve been on hold with some of the finest organizations anywhere, I can only tell you what ultimately got me results or…well, didn’t. Second, I am neither a lawyer or a cop, and your mileage may vary.

Ok…so you are pretty darn sure that your ex is pretending he’s the NSA and batman all rolled into one. Don’t try to undo anything – no removing the tracking device in your car, or spyware on your computer, or the nanny cam in your air vent. Locating the stuff is fine, but no touchy. You don’t want to smudge HIS prints, and broken bits of surveillance spy gear don’t prove much. Call the police if you’re in city limits, the sheriff if you live in the sticks like me. While you are waiting for an officer to arrive, get your id out, and neatly write out your full legal name, address, phone numbers; Add the names and DOB for anyone who lives with you. Also write down as much of the same info as you have for your ex. (I finally just typed all of that out and printed a stack to keep in The Binder. You may as well start one. You’re going to be collecting lots of paper.)

Remain calm, and when talking to the officer stick to the facts – not a good time to break out your elaborate theories – but stick to your metaphorical guns as well. Your main goal in this encounter is to file a report. Make sure you have a case, incident or report number before the officer leaves. It will usually be given to you written on a business card along with the officer’s badge number and name. (Go ahead and tape it to The Binder. Not kidding. ) In a few days you can get a copy of the official report – which you are also going to add to that 3 ring binder that will become your life. Ask how much a certified copy of the report is, and if you will need to bring exact change or a money order.

Getting this incident on the record is important. Making a report to the police SHOULD help with the ticking Statute Of Limitations clock. In some states, you only have 2 years from the time you became aware of the spyware, to do “something” about it.

This calm, reasonable interaction with the officer is also important because he can try to take this either of two routes: we prefer the I’m-going-to-investigate-this-as-a-potentially-serious-crime option. But what an awful lot of cops would really like to do is shake their had sadly and say “aw shucks! This sounds like A Civil Matter”. This is a much less stressful choice for them. Less paperwork. They probably won’t have to talk to you about this matter again.

Politely but firmly insist if necessary, on that report. In The Binder I also keep copies of the state and federal laws, to gently drive home the fact that this is criminal. Puh-leez. My ex and I haven’t been civil in years!

To be continued….(and I’ll get to work with posting an area here with some printable copies of the documents I’ve needed so far)

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